New Years Resolutions or transformation?

Last Updated on Monday, 11 February 2013 02:26 Written by Wes Wednesday, 2 January 2013 01:03

Those who have read Ten Keys to Breaking Pornography Addiction may wonder how New Year’s resolutions apply to recovery. First, I think in our collective consciousness, at least in the U.S., there’s a feeling that New Year’s resolutions are meant to be broken. Secondly, the word resolve itself is a bit loaded. I resolve to change, just seems too insurmountable. Rather than resolve to change, we simply need to transform into something different. Ten Keys to Breaking Pornography Addiction walks us straight through the process of transforming. I hope you find it the perfect way to start the new year! I wish you a wonderful 2013.

Porn Addiction can ruin lives.

Last Updated on Wednesday, 23 May 2012 01:42 Written by Wes Wednesday, 16 May 2012 03:02

A post from “learningtolive”:

One of the things I’ve come to understand in recent weeks is how much of what drives our behaviours and attitudes is rooted in deep-seated beliefs that live under the radar in our subconscious. This has in many ways been a surprise to me. I’ve always considered myself a very logical and rational sort of person. When I see someone behaving in what appears to be an irrational or illogical way, my reaction tends to be to point out that it’s not logical and to try to reason the person out of it.

What I’m learning is that there is much in me that is not rational at a surface level, but is driven by deeply rooted beliefs that I am only just discovering I hold. I’m realizing that there is a big difference between thoughts and beliefs. Previously, I have always held the view that what we believe is simply a matter of rational, logical choice. Now I’m realizing it’s not quite that simple. That’s not to say that we don’t have a choice as to what we believe – I firmly believe that we do – but when it comes to our core beliefs about ourselves, rationale and logic are poor tools for understanding, explaining and changing those beliefs.

You can read replies to this post here.

Spousal Support

Last Updated on Wednesday, 23 May 2012 01:44 Written by Wes Monday, 14 May 2012 04:42

I’ve been away for a month. My wife and I were asked to write and direct a play for teenagers. And it took a lot of time and focus, and we all had a wonderful time together. We tried to create something that would be funny, and that the kids could be proud to be a part of.

In the midst of all this, I got stressed. And one night, when I couldn’t sleep, I engaged in borderline activities. Activities, that for me, can be extremely triggering. The next morning, I told my wife that I had had a problem, I told her what I had done, and I remember saying, “I hate myself when I get this way.”

My wife leaned over, and gave me a kiss on the cheek and then hugged me tight.

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