Pain

Last Updated on Wednesday, 23 May 2012 01:46 Written by Wes Monday, 6 February 2012 08:17

Recently, a forum member wrote, “It hurts when I think about how I have looked at other women, strangers, peers, acquaintances and friends. It hurts to know that I have reduced almost all of my female friends at one point or another, that I have pushed their humanity, their personality, their womanhood, their individuality aside to sexualize them. It hurts when I see my girlfriends face when I look at another girl in an inappropriate way. It hurts when I think about having no control. It hurts to think that I prey (indirectly) on women through this compulsion. It hurts that I do not appreciate my girlfriend as much as I should. It hurts that I am sometimes not the boyfriend my girlfriend deserves. It all hurts.”

Most porn addicts can relate to the pain. After all, it is this very pain we are trying to bury that drives many of us back to pornography time and again. Vicious spiral. It was very clear to me, while I was writing Ten Keys, how important it is to learn to accept pain, especially emotional pain, and embrace it as part of life and growth. When we understand that pain, when dealt with in appropriate ways, ultimately leads us to joy, it becomes something to actually be grateful for, as difficult as that may seem in the moment.